Hello, it’s me, voice. Nice to talk and share with you today.
I spent a good number of years zipping my mouth. If I sensed any sort of confrontation or defensiveness from anyone, mostly from the people closest to me, out came “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you”, usually followed by whatever I needed to do to make peace: acquiescence, my safety blanket, never failed me. Though I failed myself by stifling my voice.
Using one’s voice takes guts. It’s scary. One isn’t quite sure how others will react.
- Maybe I’ll be rejected if I speak my truth.
- Maybe what I have to say isn’t that significant.
- Maybe if I talk too much about what I think, I’ll be perceived as selfish or uncaring.
Today, I combat fear of voice simply by actually exercising it. Gotta exercise, gotta practice. Less fearful of how other’s perceive me, I’ve discovered when I speak up these days, it’s not the end of life as once upon a time I knew.
Most of my years married, my voice wasn’t often used proactively. Note to self and others: If one can’t speak up in a marriage, one should probably hold off on that marriage license. Over the years, self-confidence was stunted as my voice fell into an arena of limitations. I don’t fault my ex for this, only that our marriage perpetuated what had already been for years. I allowed those limitations. It’s what I knew at the time. As he became less interested in my voice, so did I become less interested in voicing my opinion as well. If you do the math, there’s uneven sum of parts, which left a majority of our marriage with one dominant voice over the other.
Interestingly enough, blogging is a great healing force. Voice is created in many ways. Mine happens to be in the form of writing. Perhaps your voice is used with the most conviction through music, painting, lawn bowling, tap dancing, miniature golf or yoga. Whatever avenue chosen, keep voicing whatever important to you. Express. Take a chance and speak. Have little fear, your voice is near. I, for one, am listening.
We’ll find each other soon. ❤