Hearsay is All Hearsay

When one isn’t sure of the truth, how to find out what the truth is?

We all know social media is but a speck in a person’s life, though how quick we are to judge another’s experience based on a status, photo or a caption.

  • “Can a family always be THAT happy?”
  • “Does she EVER take a bad picture?”
  • “How lucky they get to go on so many vacations.”
  • “They must have a perfect family.”
  • “I heard they’re separated and getting a divorce.”
  • “Thank goodness we don’t have their problems.” 
  • “We seem like the perfect couple compared to them.” 

The comparisons are inevitable. How simple it is to compare and jump to conclusions of another’s experience. How complicated it is to actually… think.

When it comes to communication through social media, it’s linear, limited, narrow. Until and unless one talks directly, live and in person, to another human being, there’s always a thin lining of hearsay to someone’s story.

With estrangement, hearsay is all hearsay. Someone says something to another. That other says something to another. Then that other says something to another, who shares with another other. The wider the spread – longer months – then years – hearsay becomes one’s reality. Yet, how does one know the truth if one chooses to not speak to the other? There is no substitution for real life. 

One might hear things about me. Or you. Or someone you know. All through third parties. They may hear things about my blog, that I’m becoming more forthright in my writing regarding estrangement. They may judge. They may get upset. I don’t assume much of anything these days. I know and trust my own truth. Hearsay is a mere distraction from all truthfulness.  

The gap between all involved in estrangement is mired by the ever-widening chasm of silence.  That’s estrangement at its finest. There’s little room to squirm anymore. Block each other, mutual friends and family. Do whatever it takes to forget what hurts most. The pain is too great, too real, too relentless. A one way dialogue with little to no resolution. 


Not all is lost. There is much to be gained. One can only control their own self, their own truth. Strength comes from facing ourselves, facing our beliefs and values, confronting others directly. It ain’t easy. None of this is. The silence permeates, yet never fully seals, as silence hasn’t the power to break one’s spirit. It’ll ravage a bit, might fracture a heart for years. Yet, don’t allow silence to empower you. If someone chooses to remain silent, so be it. You have a choice as well. We carry on, hearsay and all. Let it pass. There is nothing to be gained by holding on to something that may or may not have even existed. There is sooooo much to be gained by using your voice, to help others, to listen and practice compassion. These are not mere words, they aren’t hearsay. This is life. It’s your life. Live it. 

We’ll find each other soon. ❤


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